An event which began with An Taoiseach snogging An tUachtarán yesterday culminated in the final removal of the chains of English oppression, the breaking of the yoke of Saxon domination and Ireland taking its place at last amongst the nations of the world.
A spokesperson for the Government said it was the proudest day in our nation's history since Riverdance won the Eurovision Song Contest in 1923. The Department of MOPE (most oppressed people ever) is to be mothballed as soon as the Taoiseach has got over his hangover.
Plans for the military emancipation of Rockall and the 6 counties are in hand and 2 Spanish trawlers have been sunk by gunboats for catching sprat within the newly declared 200 mile Irish territorial waters boundary.
Robert Emmet, Wolf Tone and James Connolly were unavailable for comment but in an seance exclusive to this column Padraig Pearse said
Sport is a cleansing and sanctifying thing, and the nation that regards it as the final horror has lost its manhood... there are many things more horrible than sport, and rugby is one of them!